Save 32% Off: The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant Review & Ratings

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The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant Review

I felt I had to respond after one person failed miserably in reading comprehension. First, in the beginning of the book Savage made the point and he and Terry had discussed infidelity and were committed enough to their relationship that that would not be enough to break them up. As to the claims about the birthmother being mentally ill, they took care to show that she wasn't. She was able to care for herself, make logical decisions and was sane enough to know that her chosen lifestyle made it impossible to be a good mother to her son, hence choosing adoption. And they didn't relocate to get away from her. They lived in Seattle and used an agency there. She was currently living in Portland, but since she regularly moved from city to city, it wasn't an issue. In fact, those who bother to read the whole thing will discover a chapter in which they flew to L.A. to meet with her after the birth and to allow the birthfather to see the baby. (And according to the legal agreement they signed, they can't keep her from seeing the kid a certain number of times a year, and Savage himself deplored the fact that some adoptive parents don't follow the signed agreements.) A lot of the other complaints seem based on the fact that the reviewer could not tell sarcastic humor from genuine sentiment. Savage is not a hearts&roses style writer. He's a hardcore cynic and likes making shocking jokes, like his fake birthmother letter in which he jests about having drug addicted friends babysit. For every time he made a joke about a baby as an expensive hobby, he also mentioned looking forward to being able to teach him to walk and talk and later watching his Little League games. Plenty of other writers have made similar jokes about their children - Erma Bombeck said she wanted to trade hers in for dogs, Bill Cosby has written about wanting to send his to jail for being annoying. It has nothing to do with how they actually parent - they're just trying for a laugh. Plus, if he really thought it was just a lark, would he and his boyfriend have gone through so much to adopt?
This book has left me much more optomistic about gay adoption, but pessimistic as to the literacy of people on the internet.

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Save 36% Off: Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem Review & Ratings

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Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem Review

I am aware that you discourage people from commenting on other reviews, but I think that the following comment is needed nevertheless. A previously posted hostile review said "Just where does David Blankenhorn get off telling mothers that they're not good enough for their kids!!!???? It looks as if David here is stuck in a time warp and the people that believe this piece of trash are too. So...almost half of kids grow up with single moms. I think it's swell that women today have more choices than ever before." This reviewer clearly doesn't grasp the message of the book. First, Blankenhorn isn't saying that mothers aren't good enough for their kids. On the contrary, a careful reading of the book reveals that he believes that good mothers are just as necessary as fathers. He is not denigrating mothers. He is simply saying that neither mother nor father possesses the resources to give a child everything that the child needs. Parenting was meant to be a cooperative effort between a team consisting of husband and wife, each of whom brings unique personal qualities (some of which are gender-related) to the endeavor. It's not sexist to argue that this is the case; on the contrary, it is extremely sexist to argue that women are the only parents who are essential to healthy childhood development. As for the argument that those who agree with the author are in a "time warp," this is nothing but an unintelligent ad hominem attack designed to divert attention from the legitimate substance of the book. Just because one is dismayed by the increasing number of fatherless children, and the undeniably negative effects of that phenomenon on society, it does not make one a Luddite who wishes to return to the past. Responsible people understand that the only way to ensure genuine human progress is to constantly engage in the process of self-evaluation, both as individuals and as members of a larger society. Refusing to acknowledge mistakes which have been made in the recent past is not the path to genuine progress. One last comment: When I read Blankenhorn's description of the negative effects of childlessness, I saw my own story in the book. My Dad, who just died a month ago, divorced my mother when I was a sophomore in high school. He paid the child support payments required by law, but he apparently felt justified in reneging on an earlier promise to finance my college education, mostly because I criticized him for having engaged in the adulterous affair which led to my parents' divorce. As a result of my father's subsequent unwillingness to finance my education (even though, as a successful optometrist, he was more than capable of doing so), I have spent many years struggling financially, in jobs which were only peripherally related to my real interests. My mother loved me, and did the best she could, but the bottom line is that I needed a mom AND a dad, not just for economic reasons, but for a variety of other reasons as well. Instead, I got a mother, and an absentee father who, in terms of adequately preparing me for future life as an adult, might as well have died many years ago. Yeah, that's just "swell." The reviewer refers to the mother's choices. What about the kids' choices? Most of the children affected by the modern disintegration of fatherhood have no choice at all but to suffer the ill effects of that disintegration. Unfortunately, a lot of modern parents today are in a state of arrested development, and they think only of their own needs, not the needs of their children. This is not a sob story. My point is that Blankenhorn's assessment of our current crisis is totally correct. It's time for us, as a society, to admit that the Playboy philosophy, which essentially denies that masculinity has anything to do with parental responsibility, is morally and intellectually bankrupt. We will experience tragic episodes such as the recent massacre at Littleton, CO with increasing frequency unless and until we begin to reverse the decline of the American family.

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A Question of Choice Review & Ratings

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A Question of Choice Review

I choose this book for my book club and couldn't be more pleased. What's most fascinating is that much of the text covers a time when I was quite young and, to some degree, have been ignorant of. For example, I wasn't aware of some of the employment law she mentions that discriminated against women. The book reads as 1/3 personal history, 1/3 US history and 1/3 legal and legislative processes. Don't be put off however as Weddington discusses these processes in a manner that is interesting, accessible and ultimately designed to educate the reader.

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Making Women Pay: The Hidden Costs of Fetal Rights Review & Ratings

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Making Women Pay: The Hidden Costs of Fetal Rights Review

Rachel Roth sheds intellectual and logical light on some highly emotional issues. Her book covers topics such as women's employment, citizenship, and individual rights. This book does not ponder the moral question of abortion, but rather it points out the price women must pay and the burdon they bear during pregnacy. Women no loger have control over their bodies and in some cases are forced into unwanted medical procedures. This book should be read by all because it well documented and shows how society puts more importance on the fetus and less on the woman. However, I sometimes found this book to get a little repetative in the message it was conveying.

Making Women Pay: The Hidden Costs of Fetal Rights Overview

...brings a new perspective to the debate over fetal rights--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Save 32% Off: Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care Review & Ratings

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Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care Review

Exactly 3 years ago I walked into one of the finest maternity hospitals in NJ to deliver my first baby. I was low risk - under 30, no complications - and was expected to have a smooth delivery.
11 hours later I was laying in a bed by myself staring at a ceiling, completely shell shocked, and without my baby, husband or family, I was immobilized in a recovery room with a gaping wound in my belly while my new daughter was off in the nursery. I had no idea what went wrong. It seemed that I had simply stopped dilating or "failed to progress."
As I read Jennifer Block's book, I just nodded as it all became very clear - the insistence by the staff that we would just hurry things up a little by performing an amniotomy (breaking my water) when I was still in early labor. That was followed by pitocin (to "really" get things moving), stadol (a narcotic pain reliever), an epidural and finally, a c-section. My labor was simply one of many completely over-managed and over controlled labors in American hospitals. They finally decided that a c-section was the only way to end my labor. I was lead to believe my labor was a "problem" and a "complication" and surgery was the only answer.
I wish this book could become mandatory reading for all women who are planning a hospital delivery. Contrary to recent reports (as discussed in this book), very few women are actually requesting a c-section on a completely voluntary basis. Years ago I was "pushed" by the obstetrical community into an unwanted delivery experience.
Today I am pregnant with my second child. And I am pushing back.

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Save 9% Off: Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First Review & Ratings

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Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First Review

This book includes the most comprehensive description of what's wrong with the US maternity care system and what should be done about it that I've ever read. It's well organized, well referenced, and--considering the scope of the problem--even optimistic. Dr. Wagner used to work in maternal child health in the World Health Organization, and his wide experience of maternity care systems all over the world adds necessary perspective to the discussion about how women should give birth, who decides, and why one might want to consider about all this before having a baby, instead of afterward. The chapter on the witch-hunt against US midwives is essential reading for anyone who cares about the status of women and babies. The chapter on the culture of medicine and how this is enforced is fascinating and horrifying.The book is must reading for those who think that our country can't hope to put together a system that works better for mothers and babies--and waste less money while we're at it. It should be required for anyone in the field of maternity care: nurses, physicians, midwives, childbirth educators, doulas, policy makers, lawmakers, judges--the list goes on and on.
Truly a great achievement. I hope this book gets the reading it deserves.
If it does, I believe that people will make our lawmakers follow the recommendations that Wagner makes at the end of the book.

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