How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) Review & Ratings

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How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) Review

Julie Shields' excellent book "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" provides a thorough exploration of strategies to help women and men share parenting responsibilities in a way that benefits everybody in the family.
"How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" illuminates the status quo and the calcified gender roles that many couples default to once they become parents. Shields belives that family life doesn't have to unfold that way, and she encourages couples to look beyond the standard choices of nanny, day care, or mother at home. Shields says 'The term Mommy Trap does not refer to giving birth and then having a child to take care of, or give up something for your child....More than anything else, the Mommy Trap describes a failure to understand the wide range of options available to modern parents.' She gives many examples of what it looks like to be caught in the Mommy Trap, including:
'The Mommy Trap snares a mother when she takes on parenting or household responsibilities that result in more unpaid work, and less leisure time and personal time, than she would like, particularly in comparison with her husband.'
Sound familiar? Do you feel like you couldn't even ask to expect things to be different without feeling selfish or guilty? Get this book! It is a primer that illuminates what marriage and parenting could look like if we stuck up for ourselves, let go of controlling the way our husbands parent, and worked to create truly equitable partnerships.

How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) Overview

Typically, when a woman thinks about getting pregnant, she considers whether to give up or cut back on her career or use daycare or a nanny. Now families have another alternative - mothers and fathers can share family responsibilities. Having made almost every pre-baby planning mistake that exists, when Julie Shields became a mother, she did the same thing most other new moms do. She fell in love with her daughter, took on more parenting and household duties than she ever expected, cut back at work, and complained that her husband's life hadn't changed much at all. After noticing that many women felt trapped by the alternatives they saw available to them, Shields interviewed marital counselors, childcare workers, negotiation experts, employers, child development experts, work-life counselors, researchers in many disciplines, and lots of parents, to find out how to create a family balance. She discovered that the happiest families had created personalized work and parenting arrangements that took every family member's needs and desires into account, and did not rely on outdated gender roles. "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" is the result of all the interviews, conversations, research, and observations Shields made on her journey. It emphasizes real-life solutions and strategies, highlights common missteps, and demonstrates the value of a flexible new paradigm-sharing parenting. Whether you are looking for an equal parenting partner, a way to balance life and family, or just a break now and then, the portraits of couples who share parental responsibilities will help you design the life you want to lead.This is the first book to go beyond analysis to offer life-tested answers for men and women in the twenty-first century. Full of practical and honest advice, it can change your life.Author EventsAugust 15, 2003 - WCUB Breakfast Club, 10 a.m.August 26, 2003 - WFHR Radio, 10 a.m.August 27, 2003 - WBKC, 8:30a.m.August 29, 2003 - KLPW Radio, 12:10 p.m.September 12, 2003 into September 13, 2003 - WBZ Radio, 1 a.m. September 13, 2003 - WFAS "Here's to Your Good Health," 11 a.m. September 27, 2003 - KTKK Interviews & Interactions with Linda Strasberg, 5:30 p.m.October 29, 2003 - Speaking Engagement at the 92nd Street Y in New York CityNovember 1, 2003 - WFHG 92.7 FM / WXBQ "The Barbara McFaddin Show," 10am

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