The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility Review & Ratings

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The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility Review

I read The Belated Baby in one sitting often with tears in my eyes. Reading it felt like sitting with a good friend who has felt the pain and disappointment all women feel who have struggled with infertility. As a hopeful, waiting adoptive mother-to-be, I found it particularly helpful in foreshadowing what may come after our much longed for baby finally arrives. In one excerpt the author describes herself sitting in a coffee shop when an expectant mom comes in and sits beside her. When the author feels her body stiffen but her heart soften, I felt hopeful that someday I too will feel that brand of genuine joy for the happiness of other women. Knowing that it is normal for the disappointment of infertility to persist even after the baby arrives is a good lesson and reading the book before parenthood for the still childless couple is a great way to prepare for the emotions that are sure to remain even after children. Those of us who are infertile are going to walk again someday, and the arrival of a baby helps us to do that, but most of us will always walk with just a little limp---it's the battle wound of what it took for us to get there. The book was hopeful and sensible and validates every feeling I have as someone who cannot create children. A must read.

The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility Overview

Approximately 7.3 million American women have struggled with infertility. Most of them, whether or not they use fertility treatments, do not realize that when they have their baby (or babies) -- whether through birth or via adoption -- the echoes of their infertility will be felt long after they are living out their dream of having their own baby.
Jill S. Browning and Kelly James-Enger explain that infertility is a mind-set and that every woman who experiences infertility is forever changed, even when she eventually has the child she yearned for. When many women who have gone through fertility treatments describe their experience, they say it "abused their soul." The experience may have also hurt their relationship with their husband and sometimes permanently altered relationships with their extended families. Studies show that even after the desperation of infertility subsides, emotional wounds still fester and an asterisk accompanies her bundle of joy.
Infertile women often find themselves mentally unprepared for motherhood. They feel they have no right to complain about the frustration and confusion that all new sleep-deprived parents experience. After all, they worked so hard to have a baby and, moreover, spent thousands of dollars for costly procedures. They also may be conflicted about working, even if their families need the income. She's waited so long for this baby. How can she leave him or her to go back to work?
The Belated Baby supports the message these women need to hear. It guides readers through the transition from being an infertile patient to parenthood, and it reveals how infertility shapes them as a parent. It will also be a hopeful source for couples currently in the throes of infertility, offering encouragement that there is happiness and life after infertility.


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A Matter of Trust: The Guide to Gestational Surrogacy Review & Ratings

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A Matter of Trust: The Guide to Gestational Surrogacy Review

This book is horribly out of date, vague and poorly edited. I found a few pieces of information helpful but not much. I will certainly look for a more current book this time around. Many of the examples refer to California and are, therefore, very misleading. You'd be better off with internet research.

A Matter of Trust: The Guide to Gestational Surrogacy Overview

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Save 27% Off: Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories Review & Ratings

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Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories Review

This book takes a look at the intended parents perspective and is very helpful for both surrogates and intended parents going through surrogacy. It looks at the details that people don't want to talk about. Surrogacy is a beautiful way to achieve pregnancy, but there isn't a resource for intended parents on what to expect! This book shows that both intended parents and surrogates are human, flaws and all. It is a great way for perspective people going through surrogacy to get a dialogue started on what to anticipate when going through surrogacy.
I would recommend this wholeheartdly. It's truth from the perspective of the intended parents. We've all heard the perspectives of the surrogates, what they go through, the sacrifices they make to help achieve a pregnancy for a wanting couple. But, the people who have suffered loss after loss before they even begin to pursue surrogacy are finally represented in 20 short interesting stories.

Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories Overview

Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories documents the true stories of twenty women who had children via surrogacy. Surrogacy is a complete possibility in today's day and age, but anyone considering this route to parenthood should know the pros and cons. The women featured go to surrogacy for a variety of reasons, ranging from Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser syndrome (MRKH) to cancer to unexplained infertility and everything in between. Some of the journeys go rather smoothly-while others are filled with one obstacle after another. Some of the women have children already and want to add to their family, while most are attempting to become moms for the first time. What they all have in common, however, is that every woman whose story is told knows what it's like to be an intended mother-the term for the "mother to be" if and when a baby is born. And all of the women ultimately end up having a child (or more) through surrogacy. When I first started researching surrogacy, I was fortunate to find several Online support groups. As I gave and received support to so many other women I became fascinated with the extent to which people would go to simply have a baby. I realized that their stories-our stories-needed to be heard; thus, the idea for this book was born. For the millions of women who have been touched by infertility in some way, or know someone who has, Surrogacy Was the Way will open their eyes to amazing possibilities. It will show them that they do have options, and with persistence and faith, they can achieve their dreams of motherhood after all.

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Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen: A True-Life Success Story of Having Children through Surrogacy Review & Ratings

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Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen: A True-Life Success Story of Having Children through Surrogacy Review

I wrote "Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen" because I was looking for someone or something to validate the feelings I was having as I was going through the surrogacy process, and I couldn't find anything. I found that most of the books on the market were either from a process or ethical point of view. I thought that if I was going through the maze of feelings associated with surrogacy then others must be going through them too.
I also wrote "Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen" because I wanted to let people know that there is an alternative to adoption or childlessness.
If you are trying to find out what types of feelings you might have going through the process or you want to validate the feelings you are having while you are going through the process, this book is for you.
This book is also for you if you want to learn about surrogacy or if you want to explain to your friends and family why you are choosing to go down the path of surrogacy.

Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen: A True-Life Success Story of Having Children through Surrogacy Overview

Who does a woman turn to when, more than anything in the world, she wants to have a child, but her body refuses to cooperate? Sometimes, all you need is a miracle.In 1998, when thirty-seven-year-old Sandra Watson Rapley and her husband Craig married, both decided that they wanted children right away. Sandra expected some difficulty trying to conceive because of uterine fibroids she had removed years ago. However, she was not prepared for the turbulent—and often times disappointing—road she would have to travel to make her dream a reality. After many failed attempts at drug therapy, ovulation calculation, and in-vitro fertilization, the Rapleys finally learned the devastating truth—fibroids inside Sandra's uterus were preventing a successful pregnancy. Following months of discussion, testing, and counseling, the miracle that the Rapleys were praying for arrived in the form of a surrogate. Their sister-in-law, Victoria, selflessly volunteered to be their embryo's oven, and on August 29, 2001, Victoria gave birth to the Rapleys twin sons. Intended Parents: Miracles Do Happen is the touching account of author Sandra Watson Rapley's struggle with infertility, through the emotional highs and lows and the exciting time when her dream of having a child is finally fulfilled. A soul-baring story of the emotional aspects of being an intended parent in a surrogate pregnancy.Fibroids, and the surgery to remove them, left Rapley infertile, with a scarred uterus and fallopian tubes. Things looked grim, writes Rapley in unadorned prose that gives her circumstance a particularly vulnerable quality, until her brother's wife, Victoria, volunteers to be the "oven" for Rapley's fertilized eggs.A valuable frontline story of interest to anyone considering intended parenthood. -Kirkus Discoveries

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Save 12% Off: Birthing a Mother: The Surrogate Body and the Pregnant Self Review & Ratings

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Birthing a Mother: The Surrogate Body and the Pregnant Self Review

For a long time now, surrogacy has been criticized on multiple fronts. Popular accounts tend to portray people who volunteer to be surrogates as somehow emotionally aberrant for their ability to give up a child they brought to term. Press stories often focus on rare cases where a custody dispute results. Meanwhile, many academic feminists have railed against it as a form of economic and technological exploitation.

You'll find none of that here. Temin burrowed deeply and intimately into the lives of surrogates, intended mothers, and the relationships between the two in this ethnographic study. In the process, she uncovered the motivations of surrogates and the strategies they use, in a sense, to "give" the pregnancy to the intended mother. For the women Teman studied, meaningful human bonds and new identities were were forged as a result. In this way, the book demolishes popular negative stereotypes of surrogacy. At heart, this is a story of a pair of women -- a surrogate and an intended mother -- coming together in a life-affirming act of cooperation to create a new mother.
The story takes place in Israel, where the process is stringently overseen by the government and where the government-run healthcare system provides generously for in vitro fertilization and medical care. So in these and other ways there are differences between the cultural context in Israel, the US, Europe and other places. The author does a good job of helping the reader to understand those differences. But what still comes through is the profound humanity behind surrogacy: reproductive technologies can be appropriated by women for their own purposes and used in ways that are life-affirming and beneficial for the people who use them.
The book is designed as an anthropological study and does make reference to some concepts from anthropology, sociology and other fields, but avoids of a lot of academic jargon. The non-academic reader should find relatively smooth sailing after the introductory materials where some anthropological background to the subject is reviewed. Whether it changes your perception of surrogacy is for you to decide, but it's a well written and engaging read. I would recommend this book to people interested in surrogacy, feminism, reproductive technology and its social impact, international comparisons of reproductive policy, or Israeli culture, especially in relation to pregnancy and motherhood.

Birthing a Mother: The Surrogate Body and the Pregnant Self Overview

Birthing a Mother is the first ethnography to probe the intimate experience of gestational surrogate motherhood. In this beautifully written and insightful book, Elly Teman shows how surrogates and intended mothers carefully negotiate their cooperative endeavor. Drawing on anthropological fieldwork among Jewish Israeli women, interspersed with cross-cultural perspectives of surrogacy in the global context, Teman traces the processes by which surrogates relinquish any maternal claim to the baby even as intended mothers accomplish a complicated transition to motherhood. Teman's groundbreaking analysis reveals that as surrogates psychologically and emotionally disengage from the fetus they carry, they develop a profound and lasting bond with the intended mother.

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